Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father's Day

Originally uploaded by meg+john=ruby
My first father's day today; it's a strange experience with different feelings associated with it. First, its an amazing thing to be holding your new baby and loving her so much even though I just met her. But, how did I get here? Am I really a father now? It seems very surreal at the same time. What is this force that compels us to have babies of our own? Where does it come from? I suppose all living things will fill their biological space as long as the environment and resources can support them. But why? Is it just to continue the species? I can't deny some kind of genetic impulse for producing offspring but I don't think that's the main driving force behind it. For me I think it has more to do with sharing the human experience. In my case it is with Megan and Ruby. I never thought about having kids much before Megan, but as soon as we were together I knew that she was someone who I wanted to share my life with and beyond, all the way to having children together. And now we have Ruby in our family. There are so many things I worry about that lie in the future, mainly war and greed, that have the power to shape her life in ways that I wish with all my might I could change. But at the same time there are so many things I can't wait to experience with her. And most of all, I feel so lucky that she is in my life.

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